I happened across an article title that triggered me today … “When You Learn to Hate Your Body from Your Own Family”. You can read it HERE if you want to.
Hating my body … Body Issues … That’s a trigger issue for me. How about you?
Well, I have a number of body issues and various members of my family definitely exacerbated them throughout my childhood.
For instance (and only a piece of the puzzle) my sexually abusive father nicknamed me Big A. Maybe in 6th Grade or so?
That name stuck for years.
It was even my CB Radio handle as a teen. I grew up on a farm in the days before cell phones, and we used a CB to communicate with the guys in the fields.
On one level, he said that he named me Big A was because I was the big / oldest sister and my legal name is Alisa.
Again, my father was also the person who sexually abused me from approximately age 7/8 to 15ish – thousands of times.
But he also said that he came up with Big A because of my “Big Ass”.
I began puberty fairly early (about 1-2 years after I was first sexually abused), so my ass was, yes, technically not small. I was curvy for a little girl.
But being sexually abused was a likely cause for my early puberty. Read about why I say this HERE.
He teased me quite a bit throughout my childhood for having a big ass.
I was chronically sexualized and shamed all in the same phrase. Efficient abuse, I suppose.
